Penelope， I know that it’s three o’clock in the morning， but I have to get this off my chest。

I can't give you any more advice on landing this other guy， can't tell you another "sexy" thing that you should do， or suggest a new set of filthy words that you should text him late at night。

As your best friend， I've reached my limit， and I can honestly say that he doesn't deserve you。

I'm not saying all of this because I'm f-cking jealous， or because he had the audacity to say that he makes more money than me。 （I still can't find his name on the Forbes 500 list， and I know damn well that he's renting that Ferrari， but that's a story for a different day。）

He's not who you think he is， and the better man has always been right in front of you。。。

You have every reason to never give me a chance since you know me better than anyone， and you agree with all the tabloids calling me "The Cocky King of New York，" and the "Untamed Playboy of Manhattan。" But I honestly believe that you're better off with someone else， and I need you to see。

I'm not asking for too much。。。I just want you to break up with him， for me。